So i could not resist and sent off my new blog page to all my gals and as i suspected,they had a good laugh and went thru the reactions that i had predicted.... maybe i have the makings of being an Oracle?!!! Do u think that would do me a world of good? Dressed in long flowing bohemian robes with a turban on my head, kohl eyes and lots of chunky beaded jewellery with big bangles that clanked every time i moved. hahahahaha... that would definitely do me a world of good, laughing my head off at myself that is. well u know what they say laughter is the best medicine, even if the joke is on you.
So its day 2 and since I'm home again and doing nothing much with my restless energy, I obviously thought of randomness!!! So here i am again banging away on my laptop.
Oh! before i forget to mention, my big brother is in town for 3 days!! Its been an age since Jonathan, Cher and me have been together in our house (not that they aren't off to work and aren't really home for us to be together), but nevertheless here we are just like aeons ago. Its strange to see how life has come to become what it is for all three of us. Jonathan married with three darling/devilish kids and Cher,not so married but with 2 devilish/darling kids! and me here back to square one - no marriage, no kids. Its almost like life moved on for them and stood still for me. Not that i have no hopes of attaining martial bliss and being blessed with the lil ones, but when i look back on my life even if just the last 10 years, nothing seems to have changed except everyone and everything around me. I seem to be stuck in a time warp of some kind. Of coz when i mean nothing's changed for me, i don't mean it literally. I have changed in some ways - I've grown a tad bit more responsible and maybe a dash more wiser. Learned to love,live and sustain meaningful friendships.I'm still in the process of learning to be a good aunt - someone with a bit of mischief and not such a stick in the mud. But while the changes within me are ongoing and as I have come to know, an ongoing process till the end of my life I can think about it another day. What concerns me is what I am today is still the same as I was yesterday.
Ok hang on a sec, i think i confused me. What I meant was that somethings in my life haven't budged an inch. I still live in the same house, still have the same childhood friends, still shop at the same grocers and have the same milkman deliver milk every morning to our house. The part that is most striking though is my love for dance.It hasn't wavered even once. Actually it has. There are many times when i see others move on in life to things that fulfill them and when they meet me they all say the same thing - "wow!! ur still dancing and that too with the same school!!" Most days it doesn't even faze me but someday's it baffles me to a point where I wonder my reasons for staying here. There are many thankfully enough to last me a life time I hope!! I do love what I do and I am grateful for my gifts that i am able to share with many around. And even though I may not be any good or in my prime for a dancer, it still refreshes me and uplifts my spirit. I know at this point there are many things I can do to make myself better and I know as always I need a good enough reason to do something. Maybe that's the answer to my life being at a standstill- I can't seem to jump start myself into anything.
So here I am trying to find some answers in my thoughts,no matter how random they are. I do realize that no one has figured out the intricacies of life, but it wouldn't hurt to know the best way I can feel fulfilled and go through every day without the fear that my spirit is suffocating in the mundaneness of the boredom that settles in my mind daily. Ok, I think this is somehow ending too seriously and its not at all that bad. Trust me to get all melodramatic about daily ramblings!! Gosh - thank God I'm not an important person or else I would melt at the mere mention of a scratch!! hahaha!!! Ok sorry not that bad either , i'm made of sterner stuff I'm sure.
So anyhow, I am certain that I'm a pretty normal woman living a normal existence who's heart is in the right place and has the mind of a 15 year old (obvious through my literary works!!!) going through her life, trying her hand at love and wondering if she will ever transform from a duckling to a swan!!
Mentioning swan - I did transform into one - it was the biggest swan anyone has seen till date and it even made one half of a heart!! Lucky me don't you think!!!! :-) If this last part has thrown you in a tizzy, ur in the same place as anyone who reads this; coz even though i can sit to explain, I could never cover the enormity of what it felt like being a larger than life form!!!
On this happy note its me signing off......
