This one is for Keeps!!!!

This post is exactly what it means... this one is for keeps so ladies back off!!!

Two days back I wrote a post on my friends and how blessed I am with them in my life. I'm still waiting for a happy ending so I want to hear it the second it happens - do u hear me??!!! If not I will come there and whack the heck out of you guys ;-)

But this one is for you - Ben. When u fell in my lap, I was like what the heck??!! Is the universe testing me or messing with my head. I didn't understand why I couldn't have an uncomplicated single life where my mind wasn't messing with my heart. But no matter how hard I tried to push you away it worked in reverse. The more I pushed, u just seemed to slide right in. And no matter how hard I was with you or how hard I was with myself when it came to you, we just made it through it all. You reminded me how life is precious and we can make the most of it. Of coz we had ample of "help" getting it together!!! But at this point I can't thank them enough for their "help".

Of coz you had never had a relationship and I was queen of them, so us coming together was just so scary.... Even the thought of me being with you after being in a loving relationship for so long before that... God!!! It made my heart clench with fear!!! But when we clicked all this just didn't matter... it was just you and me and the way we made each other feel in such a short while. The greatest part was that you understood me and let me be the way i was, fell in love with me as i was - childish, crazy and completely erratic... u even adjusted to my mood swings which is a lot to say considering even i cant handle my mood swings at times :-)

And now when I look back at our time together, so much has changed for the better. I could never imagine seeing us the way we are, where I share my fears, my elations and everything that I feel with you (trust me I am a tough nut to crack when it comes to opening up!!!) And I cant help it coz I know it will sound so clichéd - but cant thank you enough for loving me.

Sometimes when I look back and see how mysteriously we have met and been brought together, its like a dream. But this is no dream. This is our reality and I`m wide awake and trying to make the most of it. Thank you Ben. Thank you for making me feel alive and not alone....

This one is for keeps!!!

Happy Endings

Its been a while since I have written on my blog and I know I could have created time to give it some attention but I didn't have the heart on any other day. But today is another story. Today I feel extremely happy and for some reason a bit less lost than the past couple of weeks. Today I spoke to my friend and all that mattered between us was the love of a friendship that isn't marred by anything corrupt or untruthful. Today I found my friend as I remember him to be... honest, caring, loving, charming and most importantly like a rock- steady and never moving.

I don't know what I have done to deserve so many blessings in my life. My family who has always stuck by me no matter what. My friends who I cherish and love like we are bounded by blood itself, my guru who i never understand most time but understands me and is always guiding me, my gift of dance, my gift with children, my relationships, people who have loved me or love me rite now....

At times I wonder why I don't remember to thank God for so much and on days like today I am reminded that I should be grateful for these gifts and treasures.

Thank you is all I can say that can encompass my gratitude at this point. My feelings are surging within me and I feel like I'm going to overspill... and the feelings are so powerful that I have no way of controlling them, maybe that's why I have turned to u.. because maybe at the end of this post I will feel lighter and will feel like I have channeled my feelings into something positive and thanked God for what is and always will be a blessing for me.

Thank you my friend for making me feel a bit at peace. U have always known how to do it and I can't thank u enough.

Im sorry I never had the courage to see us through but I know deep down we will always be connected and there is someone out there for you who will bring the stars down to u and I pray each day that she finds u and makes my friend the happiest heart in this Universe.

To u both...

I wait to see a happy ending.....